Teenagers – How to Establish Contact

Adolescence is a very unstable and tumultuous period in life for both the teenager and their parents. Teenagers go through a phase of transformation, both physically and mentally. This inevitably leads to a host of difficulties – from mood swings and baseless aggression to complete apathy and sometimes suicidal tendencies.

How can you ensure that your teenage child listens to you and stays safe without resorting to extreme methods of pressure and limiting their personal freedoms? This is the topic of today’s article.

Find Common Ground…

Regardless of gender, temperament, age, and other characteristics, there are always things that you both enjoy. The hormonal surge associated with puberty is not only about the desire to express oneself sexually. Teenagers during this period generally also seek to engage in creative activities, lead an active lifestyle, and get as much out of life as possible.

A suddenly expanded worldview of a teenager might allow you to find more common topics, activities, and ways to spend time together. The key is to show genuine interest in their hobbies – and they will be happy to share them with you.

…but Maintain Distance

Interest is one thing, but invading personal space is another. It’s necessary to strike a balance and exercise tact. For example, if a teenager is interested in YouTube blogging, it doesn’t mean you should approach them with a proposal to run a joint channel. You can assist in other ways, such as offering a pinch of constructive criticism or helping with technical aspects of filming.

Overall, it’s important to gauge the situation first. If the essence of your child’s hobby is solitude, sticking your nose into it without permission will be quite unwise. Remember, teenagers often act based on emotions rather than logic, and any unwanted interference is likely to be met with resistance.

Allow Them to Make Mistakes

One of the most important aspects of learning, growing up, and personal development is undoubtedly the ability to learn from one’s own mistakes. Of course, teenagers, due to their age-related characteristics, need guidance. But this should not involve imposing your “one right” path, but rather offering advice and recommendations from the heart.

Just as a young child sometimes needs to fall and get up on their own to understand that parents won’t always be able to rescue them, teenagers also need to make mistakes to learn how to correct them. Your persistent interference will only annoy the child, preventing the process from occurring organically.

Don’t Rush Them

When it comes to teenagers, parents often fall into two camps. Some still see their children as infants who need to be fed with a spoon and have their blankets tucked in at night. For others, teenagers are almost fully grown adults and should be treated as such. It goes without saying that both approaches are equally doomed.

The first type is a topic for a separate discussion another time. The second, despite some advantages (teenagers often prefer to be treated like adults rather than babies), frequently falls into absolutism. Such parents sometimes deny their teenagers any support, reasoning that “he/she is already an adult.”

Again, it’s important to find the right balance. Observe and listen to your child. Teenagers are often quite secretive, so you’ll need to use your parental intuition fully. Determine when they need your help and when it’s better to leave them to their own devices. Don’t overly indulge them, but also avoid being excessively harsh.

After discussing how to establish contact with teenagers, it’s important to address the taboo topics that shouldn’t be part of healthy relationships.