How simulating an orgasm harms you

HomeBlogHow simulating an orgasm harms you

Simulating an orgasm, unfortunately, is quite common. For some, it’s an exception for situations when you’re not in a mood, but he simply won’t let you be. For others, this is a new norm. There can be many reasons for this – from a temporary decrease in libido due to hormonal shifts to permanent frigidity.

Only facts

Let’s leave male bravado aside and look at the facts. According to a survey among women aged 18 to 40, turns out that only 5 percent of women experience regular orgasm during sex. But a different fact is much more disturbing. According to the results of the same survey, women get more regular and vivid orgasms during masturbation. The percentage of women who confessed to imitating an orgasm is staggering – more than 90%.

What’s wrong?

The respondents indicated the reluctance to disappoint their partner as a main reason for simulating an orgasm upon realizing the climax is nowhere to be expected.

Of course, this has no physiological consequences. But on a psychological level, it brings a lot of stress. Whatever one may say, simulating an orgasm on a permanent basis means lying to your partner. And the “white lie” concept is hardly applicable here. You can tell yourself that you just don’t want to humiliate him all you want. And for the time being, it might even work. But what if he finds out that for the last week, month, year, all of your orgasms were fake? Don’t want to bring up white lies now, huh?

Any number of concealments, whether in bed or in any other spheres of relationships, inevitably contribute to a growing mistrust between partners. But ok, let’s suggest for a moment that you do all of that for him. But what about you? Faking orgasms day after day – is that okay for you? Over time, thoughts about lying to your loved one might overlap with feelings about your own possible deviations.

“Is there something wrong with me?”

“It used to be different…”

“Again today… Maybe tomorrow will be different? “

Sounds familiar? Then your morale has already begun to crumble. And before you know it, having no orgasm will be the least of your problems.

What to do?

First of all, don’t be afraid to speak frankly. Cold truth is better than sweet lies – this expression has never been more relevant than in this case. According to psychologists, most women are simply afraid to confess that they don’t experience an orgasm to their partner. In that case, think a couple of steps forward. Do you trust your man? Did he ever abandon you in critical situations? If the answer to both questions is negative, then it’ll be only logical to be straightforward with him. And the sooner you tell the truth, the sooner you can both start looking for a solution. This is much better than staying in limbo, lying to yourself that this deviation is in fact a norm.

It’s not the 18th century anymore. Societal norms have evolved, and patriarchy is no longer a thing. Today you have so many ways to deal with the problem. First, you can try and experiment in bed. A different position, the use of lubricant or toys quite possibly migth help you achieve the long missing orgasm. If it doesn’t help, then you should contact a sex therapist. The doctor will help you sort everything out and, if necessary, prescribe treatment.


First of all, do not rely on questionable sources. Don’t believe porn, where actresses have orgasms like five times a minute. Even more so, do not trust men whose bragging sometimes reaches truly astronomical proportions. Statically true orgasm approximately occurs about once every 3-4 acts. Analyze your sex life – perhaps your deviation from the norm is not a deviation at all.

And if the problem proves to be real, be honest with your partner. And, more importantly, be honest with yourself.

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